WALLOWA COUNTY — Theodore Tachenko loved to squeeze his mom’s cheeks and snuggle with his dad.

“You couldn’t have a bad day with Theo around,” said his dad, Ryan. “He always wanted to have a good time.”

“He felt like warm sunshine after a cloudy, rainy day,” his mom, Vanessa, said as tears filled her eyes at the memory of her little boy.

Theodore died Jan. 30, 2024, in an accident in the family’s driveway in Wallowa County. He was 3.

Now, a year later, they are hoping to find a public place in Wallowa County to place the 20-foot-tall cross from Theodore’s celebration of life.

“Our hope is a public area so that everyone feels welcome,” Vanessa said.

“And so people could go there anytime,” Ryan said. “Somewhere with a view and good access.”

The day

The Tachenkos have four children. On the day of the accident, Zeb was 8, Jabel 5, Dawnna 4 and Theo was 3.

They moved from Baker City to Lostine in May 2023. Ryan, an emergency medical technician, took a full-time position with the Wallowa Memorial Hospital ambulance service, and Vanessa, a registered nurse, started working at the same hospital in Enterprise.

The family routine that January was to feed cattle in the afternoon and, hopefully, calve in the daylight.

“Each of the kids had different parts of the chores,” Vanessa said.

The last chore of the day was to feed the bull, cow, calf and pony kept in a pen near the house.

“That part of the chore was Dawnna and Theodore’s job,” she said.

Dawnna and Theodore fed the bull and pony, and then Theodore got chilled.

“When I was feeding the cow, Theo got cold and went in the house,” Ryan said.

He followed and gave the little boy a snack, then finished the chores.

“I went back out and finished feeding. All that was left was two pitchforks of hay for the cow-calf pair and to park the feed pickup about 100 feet away,” Ryan said. “He waved at me through the window.”

Vanessa and Ryan can only speculate about what happened next. They think that Theo pulled on his boots and decided to go back outside after his dad, or maybe to find his big brothers who were playing outside farther down the driveway.

“I just don’t know,” Ryan said.

It was dusk, and the usual place he parked the truck was muddy, so Ryan backed up in a different location.

He felt a bump.

“He was probably running by the outside of the pickup,” Ryan said. “I had no idea he was there. I was going maybe a quarter of a mile per hour.”

That bump was Theo. He didn’t survive the accident.

Vanessa was working at the hospital that night. She remembers hearing the alarm for an ambulance, and then a red, corded phone rang at the nurse’s station.

“I’ve never heard it ring before,” she said.

But no one was at the other end of the line.

Then the doctor on shift, who is also the medical examiner, took a phone call and asked the charge nurse to step into the hallway.

Vanessa’s phone rang. It was Ryan. The nurse came back, and confirmed what her husband had just told her.

She got a ride to Lostine, and dense fog slowed the usual 20-minute drive.

“The fog rolled in right after,” Ryan said.

Vanessa was hoping she’d heard wrong, and thought maybe they would be bound for a bigger hospital.

“I still thought there was hope,” she said.

Then she saw Ryan, and she knew.

“Even still, it’s almost a year, and my brain doesn’t really believe it,” she said.

Also that night, the 97-year-old veteran they’d been caring for went into respite care, and several days later an assisted living home.

“We went from a household of seven to a family of five in three hours,” she said.

Theo died on a Tuesday. The following Saturday, Vanessa and Ryan sat with church members and recorded the story of that night so anyone who listened had the correct information.

Cards and donations poured in — 260 cards and packages and 227 donations on the crowdfunding platform Give Send Go. Multiple fire departments reached out to Ryan, and many donated vacation time to the couple.

“The generosity and kindness of people is incredible,” Vanessa said.

Theo’s siblings, Vanessa said, have grieved in different ways — from Zeb, who didn’t want to talk about it, to Dawnna, who did.

“They were best buddies. Theo did whatever Dawnna wanted,” Vanessa said. “We all miss the weight of Theo in our arms. He said ‘I love you’ 12 times a day.”

Vanessa has read many books about grief, and they both say their faith has helped them face life without Theo.

“If it wasn’t for God, I wouldn’t be here today,” Ryan said. “It’s my faith that has kept me from going out of my mind.”

“It really is what has gotten us through,” Vanessa said. “I have a dependency on God that I never had before.”

They share lots of stories about Theo, the little boy who freely gave kisses and once unrolled toilet paper down the hallway and another time made a snowstorm out of baby powder.

Those antics of their blue-eyed boy make them laugh, even with tears in their eyes.

“We’re learning to carry sorrow and joy at the same time,” Vanessa said.

A place for the cross

Theodore’s graveside service was March 29, 2024, near the Lostine Cemetery. Two days later — on Easter Sunday and his fourth birthday — the family had a sunrise service and a celebration of life for Theo.

The sunrise service included the large cross built by family friend Don Taggart.

Today that cross is stored near their house just outside of Joseph.

But the Tachenkos would like to see it installed in a public place in Wallowa County where people could gather for an Easter sunrise service, or a moment of peace.

“We truly want it for the public, a place people feel comfortable gathering together, and a reminder that we have something to look forward to,” Vanessa said.

She welcomes ideas about a possible location.

Vanessa can be contacted through her website at www.wildsplendor.me/contact.