Children’s birthday parties often stir a mix of emotions among parents and adults. While some view them as joyful occasions to celebrate a child’s growth and milestones, others see them as frivolous or even stressful events filled with commercial excess and unnecessary pressure. Add in busy schedules with continuous events and activities and it makes the birthday party invitations your child brings home feel like just another obligation in a never-ending sea of obligations.

We hear that we should be taking a step back, simplifying our lives, that we don’t need to sign up for every activity or go to every event to find joy. As a working mother and a social introvert this is advice I generally heed. The one exception is for children’s birthday parties; I make every effort to go to every party my daughter is invited to, unless we truly can’t.

In the tapestry of childhood, few events hold as much charm and anticipation for a young child as a birthday party. Dismissing birthday parties as mere extravagance overlooks their significant benefits and the positive impact they have on children. Celebrating children’s birthdays is more than just a party — it’s an essential aspect of growing up full of valuable lessons, not just for the birthday child but for their young friends as well.

Birthdays mark another year of growth and achievement. Celebrating these milestones acknowledges the progress a child has made and the challenges they have overcome. Celebrating a child’s birthday makes them feel valued. On their special day, children are the center of attention, receiving love, praise and gifts from friends and family. It is a day dedicated to recognizing their uniqueness. This acknowledgement boosts a child’s confidence and self-worth, helping them feel loved and appreciated.

Birthday parties help children develop and practice social skills. They learn to interact with others, share, take turns, and practice good manners. Children are given an opportunity to practice important values such as gratitude, humility, and generosity. Encouraging children to express thanks for gifts and gestures of kindness helps instill a sense of appreciation.

One year for her birthday, I was trying to teach my daughter about how to graciously receive gifts we either already have or don’t like. I asked her what we say when we receive such a gift. Her response: “We say, ‘thank you!’ and then we sell it.” Insert facepalm of an embarrassed mother who rushed to add: “We don’t say that second part (out loud)!”

Inviting friends, neighbors and extended family to a birthday party helps build a sense of community. It teaches children the importance of relationships beyond their immediate family. They learn about inclusivity, hospitality and the joy of sharing their special moments with others. They also learn to be gracious hosts and guests, which are valuable social skills that will serve them well in various aspects of life.

The planning and execution of a birthday party can be a wonderful outlet for creativity and imagination. From choosing a theme and decorating the space to planning games and activities, birthday parties allow children to express themselves and explore their interests. Additionally, not every birthday will go as planned, and children may sometimes feel disappointed if things don’t meet their expectations. These moments can be valuable teaching opportunities, helping children learn to manage disappointment and appreciate the effort and thought behind the celebration, regardless of its scale.

While it’s true that some birthday parties can be overly commercialized or stressful, the fundamental reasons for celebrating a child’s birthday are rooted in love, growth and community. At their core, birthday parties are celebrations of life and happiness. They are a time to express joy and gratitude for the child’s existence and the positive impact they have on the lives of those around them. Teaching children to celebrate life’s joys, no matter how big or small, instills a sense of appreciation and positivity. It helps them develop a grateful mindset, recognizing the importance of celebrating moments of happiness and togetherness. Birthdays are about celebrating and honoring one another. So, let’s embrace and celebrate children’s birthday parties as valuable and meaningful events that enrich the lives of our children.

Family law attorney Erin Biencourt is a board member of Pendleton Children’s Center and mother of a 6-year-old.