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Do you struggle with your toddler/child going to bed or staying in bed at night? Don’t feel alone, this is not unusual for children, especially toddlers.

There could be many reasons why your child gets out of bed or calls for you during the night, such as:

• Needing attention (a diaper change, going to the toilet, not feeling well).

• Learning something new as a natural part of development (getting out of bed by themselves).

• Separation anxiety (fear of being away from you, they might cry or become clingy). This can occur around 6 or 7 months of age and reach its peak around 14 to 18 months. It usually goes away gradually throughout early childhood.

We need to remember that toddlers and young children’s brains are still developing and they do not have the skills to control their impulses. They aren’t getting out of bed to annoy you, they are struggling with their impulse control and still developing these skills. Stay reassured and calm, try not to get upset if your toddler calls out again and again or appears in the living room or your bedroom a few times. They need us as parents to teach them the skills they need.

Tips for helping your toddler/child develop good sleep habits:

• Having a consistent bedtime routine (same time every night, quiet time before bed, reading a story, etc.). Let them pick out their pajamas to wear to bed and choose a bedtime story.

• At bedtime, talk to your child about what he or she can do to help them fall asleep and go back to sleep if they wake up during the night. An example: “You can cuddle your teddy bear or blanket, etc.” Make sure the items are safe and free of choking hazards and any other dangerous material. Include their teddy bear in the bedtime routine, along with getting tucked and a bedtime story. This could help your child feel more secure and comfortable knowing their sleeping buddy is safe as well.

• Show them they are safe. Sometimes using soft nightlight may help them feel more secure, by being able to see their room. Playing soft, soothing music may also be helpful.

• Understanding what your child’s sleep struggles are about.

• If your child wakes in the night and calls out for you, respond by reassuring them that everything is OK and that it is time for sleep. Keep your voice soft and the lights down.

• Gentle encouragement and practice can help children with separation anxiety. When they do sleep in their own bed all night long, acknowledge by noticing their accomplishment.

• Make sure your toddler’s bed is a comfortable, warm and happy place, so they will want to be there. Tell your toddler what you would like them to do. For example, “Lie on your bed, put your head on your pillow, it’s sleep time.” Encourage your toddler with positive language when they stay in their own bed all night.

Once you have established a routine and discovered helpful strategies with your child’s sleep habits, make sure that you are consistent with it. It is also important to share strategies that work with your child care provider, if you have one. This way you are all on the same page and the routines are consistent.

Some children deal with “sleep regression,” when they struggle with their positive sleep habits — though this is really just a regular part of child development, which can occur at any time. It may look like they are refusing to go to bed, waking during the night (when they normally sleep through) and resisting naps. Most of the time a sleep regression only lasts for a few weeks and the child will adjust back to their normal sleeping habits.

Of course, if you feel that something just does not feel right with your child’s sleep habits and it is concerning to you, consider talking to your medical professional.