Malgesini

I keep putting off getting my driver’s license updated to a Real ID. I would almost prefer a root canal over waiting in line at Oregon Driver & Motor Vehicle Services.

Although the Department of Homeland Security keeps extending the deadline, eventually special identification (Real ID or a passport) will be required for domestic flights and to enter secure federal facilities. The whole switcheroo is happening because the Real ID Act was passed by Congress in 2005 following a recommendation from the 9/11 Commission.

The premise behind the act is to increase security standards. However, it makes me wonder if it’s so important, why is it taking two decades to enact? The current deadline is May 7, 2025.

I’m all for increased safety when flying. Although I’ve never purposely done something to arouse the suspicions of Transportation Security Administration personnel, I have had a few questionable situations.

After not being able to find Tillamook cheese while vacationing in Mazatlan, Mexico, I decided to bring some during a subsequent trip. While John and I didn’t need 4 pounds of cheese for 15 days, that’s what I packed. To help preserve the two baby loafs, I froze them and then wrapped each package in aluminum foil — yeah, I didn’t think that through.

Adding to the appearance of international drug smugglers, my husband brought several pounds of ground coffee. For the uninformed, coffee is often used to throw off drug detection dogs.

The realization of how this appeared hit me in the customs line when John dropped his bag of coffee while rifling through his backpack. In a panic with sweat dripping off my brow from the humidity, I shifted uneasily. Fortunately, the agent only made a cursory check of my bag.

While heading home on another trip, John’s carry-on baggage caught the attention of security. Soon, there were several agents standing around speaking in Spanish in hushed tones.

Finally, one of them pulled out a Costo-sized package of double-AA batteries. The best we could figure is they thought it was a package of bullets when viewing it through the baggage scanner.

I’ve had such innocuous items as a crystal vase, an aerosol canister of eyeglass cleaner and an unopened bag of sour gummy worms raise the eyebrows of security personnel. However, I had a keychain with a small crucifix and a 1-inch knife blade — a trinket from a “Late Nite Catechism” performance — that never got a second glance.

While I continue to procrastinate in getting my Real ID, I don’t want to wait too long. Since I haven’t flown since February 2020, those SkyMiles are racking up.