I’m not a doctor or a scientist, but I’d like to go on record saying that these past few months have caused humans the most stress in the last 50 years. I’d venture to say that even the Persian Gulf and Afghanistan wars did not feel like the last few months have felt.

Our lives have turned upside down. We’ve lost school, sports, jobs, businesses, connections with friends and colleagues, and the ability to show a stranger a smile. People are protesting, looting, arguing, and taking sides. We’ve lived in uncertainty, change fear, isolation, and division. People aren’t designed to live like this. We need each other; we need our communities and our friends.

It’s too much.

We second-guess each decision, wondering about whether it’s good or bad, safe or unsafe. This summer I signed my youngest up for day camp … and felt guilty about it. Thankfully a friend convinced me that I did the right thing. She needs the structure, the friends, and the fun. It’s good for her. To be honest, it’s good for me, too. I needed a break from being the teacher, mom, friend, drill sergeant and playmate that I had become.

How are you feeling? Are you as stressed as I’ve been? It’s time to give yourself a break. We are not meant to be all things to all people.

First, stop feeling guilty about needing some alone time, or time with your spouse. If you don’t fill your own tank, how can you successfully fill someone else’s? Also, kids need time away from their parents and even siblings. They need to develop coping skills and cultivate friendships.

Second, no matter how busy you are (or think you are), find a hobby. Reading, gardening, stamp collecting, scrapbooking, running or working out. Maybe your new hobby is locking yourself in the bathroom for five minutes. Whatever it is, block out some time for it. Give yourself something to look forward to, even if it’s only a couple days a week.

Jigsaw puzzles have become very popular during quarantine. They can get expensive, though, for something that’s a one and done. Consider teaming up with a few other friends and swapping rather than buying new ones each time.

Photography is a great hobby, especially now that many people have phones with great cameras. Check out YouTube to figure out how to edit your favorite pictures. Then, combine it with scrapbooking and create a quarantine memory book, or just pick a few and have them printed and framed for showing off. Download an app like Keepsake, Brushstroke, or Mixtiles to get started.

Always dreamed of getting in shape, but haven’t had the time or the motivation? Try the free fitness app, FitOn. No equipment necessary, beginner through advanced, and the workouts totally cater to your wants and needs. You can do a morning stretch for five minutes, work on a target area like abs for ten minutes, or spend a half hour with a celebrity instructor. They are kind, encouraging, and motivating in a no-judgement zone, each instructor giving options for people at different flexibility and ability levels.

What about your marriage? The New York Times recently published an article called “Missing the Partner You See 24/7.” I get that. There are no stories to share at the end of the day if you’ve been together the entire time. Most of us feel a vague sense of loss because of the pandemic. So many things in our lives have been changed against our wishes that we’re bound to feel a type of grief. One would normally vent to one’s spouse at the end of the day, but now may not want to burden them or add stress.

It’s important to find some special time to spend together. Feed the kids early, bathe them, and throw them in front of the TV so that you can have a picnic in the backyard. Go for a walk, a hike, a bike ride, or a drive together. The new scenery will do you good, and your new experiences may give you something fun to talk about. Get some takeout and park your car somewhere with a view. Swap babysitting with family friends, or get a sitter, but above all, do not let yourself feel guilty. If it’s good for your marriage, it’s good for the children.

Now is the time to give yourself grace. We are all doing the best we can, so be kind to others and be kind to yourself.

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Suzanne Kennedy is a former middle school teacher who lives in Pendleton with her husband and four children.