Tom Winn’s girls are 13 and 15, but they were 7 and 9 when he joined approximately two million men across the nation who have chosen to be stay-at-home dads.

Early in 1997 the Winn family was living in Portland. Patty, Winn’s wife,was practicing medicine and Winn was director of the Oregon Wheat Commission. They had a nanny who worked days looking after their daughters. Everything changed, however, when Winn’s mother had a debilitating stroke. The Winn’s, both Helix natives, made a decision to move back home to the family ranch to better care for her. They also made the decision that Winn would be the one to stay home and care for their two daughters.

Prior to his position with the Oregon Wheat Commission Winn had held positions in the Salem legislature on Mike Thorne’s staff, and on Mark Hatfield’s staff in Washington, D.C. He had also worked for the Reagan Administration in the Department of Energy.

“When we first came back (to Pendleton/Helix) I worked for Gordon Smith for a while part time. It was a great transition because of trying to be a stay-at-home, and because of withdrawals from running an organization,” Winn said.

Winn remembers it being a little hard in the beginning trying to create a routine at home.

“… Making sure they got up and made it to school and taking care of the clothes, when they were littler,” he said.

“I don’t do as much laundry as I used to, Patty does a lot of the basics. I do all the cooking, somebody else cleans up the table. And now that the girls are older they do most of their own laundry,” he said.

Winn is home 99 percent of the time when the girls get home from school. He always takes them to school and picks them up unless it is the year they are dropped off last on the Helix bus route.

“In some respects I miss having the routine of getting up and going to an eight-to-five job. As a stay-at-home dad you have to be motivated, to be a self-starter,” he admitted.

But on the other hand he said he has time to be with the kids and go to their sports activities, as well as do volunteer work. Winn has an impressive list of volunteer efforts. He is past president of the Helix Rodeo and its chief fund-raiser, chairman of the Helix Parks and Recreation District, chairman of the Oregon Wheat Foundation, chairman of the budget committee for the Helix School Board and chairman of the Umatilla County Republican Central Committee.

If you read the literature on the growing trend of men as primary caregivers, the question of lower self esteem due to the role reversal versus societal expectations, and the question of who wears the pants in the family are often asked.

“It doesn’t matter who the primary caregiver really is. It’s a total commitment to be the anchor, man or woman, someone has to fill that role. Not to denigrate families that have to work full-time, but this works for us,” Winn said.

Maybe Winn is one of the exceptions, but self esteem and his role in the family isn’t a question.

“No one has ever said anything negative about it,” he said. “It’s easier in a small community because everybody knows you.”

“We share a lot of the responsibility of running the house. “I think she (Patty) gets frustrated not being able to be there. Men and women think differently. Sometimes I don’t live up to her expectations and there is conflict … and there are certain things girls don’t talk to Dad about. It would be hard to not have Mom around,” he said.

Winn said all positions have challenges and they all have rewards.

“This doesn’t pay anything but satisfaction and the pay of doing a good job, raising well adjusted kids. Hopefully they will be good citizens,” he said.