{photoSource}La Grande Observer{/photoSource}

The gentleman cheerfully explained why he was selling his lawn mower. He was 97 years old and no longer able to mow his own lawn. Losing our abilities and letting go of what no longer serves our best interests is hard to do, yet this fellow seemed to have mastered the art of a smooth transition. Change is what happens to us, transition is the internal response to these events. Researcher and author William Bridges, Ph.D., said, “Every transition begins with an ending and ends with a beginning. Between the ending and beginning lurks an awkward neutral zone most want to avoid, but is essential to personal growth.”

Transition is the hardest place to be. Liminal space is that space between where you have been and what comes next in your life. It is a place of unknowing, which often involves loss, letting go, accepting new or different conditions, and moving on. We want to skip this part, but it is where we learn the most.

Transition could be likened to a slippery log over a rushing mountain stream that you must cross to reach the meadow beyond. Barbara Kingsolver said, “The changes we dread most may contain our salvation.” Our modern lives are full of uncertainty and change … even the Greek philosopher Heraclitus noted in 500 BCE, “Everything changes, nothing stays the same.” Adjusting to ongoing changes with COVID-19, politics, climate change, wildfires and smoke takes energy. Then there are personal concerns like our jobs, health and relationships. It helps to realize adaptation takes energy and thought. We want to reach the meadow, but getting there is tricky and we have to pay attention.

Our internal workings, brain and body, crave calm. Life for the body is easiest when all needs are met and nothing changes. Wouldn’t that be nice, at least for a while? Any shifts in the internal milieu require attention and adjustment. A new job or relationship, illness or loss of any sort affects your inner balance. Events, whether you label them good or bad, occur daily. Having a child, starting a new job or losing a loved one all require adjustments.

Stress can make you stronger, or sicker. Problems arise when changes in your life outpace your current resources and ability to adapt. Our body is built to withstand just about anything, but self awareness makes the job a lot easier. Some stress is vital to an interesting, adventurous and productive life, but to get there you have to cross the bridge of transition. When challenged, our body and mind work to recover. Failure to regain inner balance and peace can result in anxiety, depression, weight gain, fatigue, poor sleep and many chronic diseases.

You can take steps to safely cross the risky transition zone! Your thoughts are most important. “Self talk,” those recordings in your head, can build you up or tear you down. Practice thinking rationally, creatively and constructively. Recall your past successes and use those skills again. Choose humor, acceptance, health, and gratitude over blaming, complaining, denial or worry. Improving physical health with restful sleep, daily physical activity, mindful breathing, relaxation and healthy foods builds a body strong enough to pull you through the transition. Connection to others by sharing or asking for help, listening and being heard, is helpful. Remember to take breaks, celebrate even small successes and have fun!

Kate Berado offers “The 5 R’s of Change.” Routines: activities, food, rituals create structure; Reactions to what others say and do. Take nothing personally; Roles: gain clarity on your role; Relationships: choose positive, stable, satisfying relationships. Nurture the important relationships; and Reflection about your values. What has worked, or not worked, for you in the past?

Avoiding change and adapting to change each take energy. The choice of how to negotiate the inevitable transitions we all face in our lives is yours. May you flow well!